The year that I passed the bar exam, the economy was tight and there was a glut of new lawyers. My wife and I were responsible for two teenagers in High School, and could not relocate without uprooting them. I hung out my shingle and took a contract attorney position to earn a small amount of money. I was miserable and swore that “once I pay off my student loans, I am getting out of the practice of law.” The golden handcuffs began to engulf my wrists.
It took a while, but I eventually did pay off my loans. By that time, I had taken over the office from the lawyer that I had contracted with since he retired. The practice was not one that I particularly enjoyed, but, by then, I was making a good income and learned that I am a good trial attorney. I told myself that once we paid off the house I would make changes to align my career with my values. I heard clicking and felt a tightening around my wrists.
We paid off the house and all the credit cards. For a brief moment, “I’m free” ran through my mind. Then I looked at my small savings and nonexistent retirement funds. “The money is really good, all I need to do is save enough and then I can do what I really want,” was the latest denial. The golden handcuffs were locked and the keys were nowhere to be found.
“Golden Handcuffs” started as a phrase in the business world. When given great perks, executives used the phrase. They believed they could not do any better anywhere else. The phrase has since morphed into other careers. People use the phrase to refer to the feelings of not being satisfied by their job. At the same time, they make too much money to risk getting out. It is usually one of the beginning signs of burn-out. For me, it was a constant refrain that would go through my head. “I could not make this much doing anything else.” It was the opposite of nirvana.
What can you do if you are feeling the golden handcuffs around your wrists? First, realize that there is an area of your life that is leaving you unsatisfied. It takes introspection and brutal honesty to discover where the heart of your discontent lies. But, only by finding it can you begin the work to improve your life. For example, is it just being a lawyer that you don’t like, or is it your co-workers? Are you feeling like you sold out, or is it just that your practice is not aligned with your values?
Once you have identified the problem, think about solutions. Would changing jobs with new co-workers lift your spirit? Do you want to get out of law entirely? The solution to your problem depends on how you answer these (and more) questions.
When you have decided on a solution, you will need to formulate a plan to reach the solution. For example, if changing jobs would do the trick, what is your time line? Who will you reach out to first? Are you restricted by geography, or are you free to move? The questions are endless, but by contemplating them, you can make a plan to move forward to a more rewarding career.
Contact me for complimentary 30 minute session to examine why you feel trapped.
Photo credit: Howdy, I’m H. Michael Karshis via Foter.com / CC BY